Cruising in the Jungle

Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt bring the latest Disney Ride to Life!

The other day I was reading about the latest trend on cruise ships. They have been installing trampolines as part of the exercise deck.

I guess everyone is jumping on board.

Please don’t tell me you didn’t see that coming.

Also, they have revamped their menu options for the various passengers that are on a particular diet. Of course, they avoid one specific vegetable…

Leeks.

They will however include a giraffe’s favorite food…

Neck-tarines

That sound you hear is my editor telling me to stop.

As you can imagine, this week, I took the “Jungle Cruise”, Disney’s latest theme park ride inspired movie. It opens with a flashback story of the Amazon Jungle and the many expeditions to find treasures in the mysterious ecosystem. The greatest of all however, it the mystical tree “Tears of the Moon” with leaves of healing powers to cure any disease and curse. When a group of conquistadors attempt to steal it from a local tribe, they become imprisoned within the jungle for their attempted crime.

We then are taken to the year the story is set, 1916, where Dr. Lily Houghton (Emily Blunt) is having her research presented to the British Royal Society by her brother MacGregor (Jack Whitehall) because women are not taken seriously as researchers. While he is giving a pre-written speech (by his sister), Lilly sneaks into the archives to find an ancient arrowhead, believed to provide the locations of the magical tree.

Lily is not the only one interested in that artifact, Prince Joachim (Jessie Plemons) a German royal who wants to help the war effort (and become immortal as well). This sets up the major hunt as Lily and MacGregor head to the Amazon River to find a captain to take them to the secret location. Joachim follows, in hope that they will lead him to it too.

In arriving in Brazil, they mistakenly hire Frank Wolff (Dwayne Johnson) who provides cheap tours of the river that are very similar to Disney’s attraction. There are fake dangers and Wolff has several puns (which are almost as hysterical as mine) along the way. After revealing himself as the only “skipper” than can navigate the treacherous waters of the second longest river in the world, Lily agrees to a discounted price for the mission.

The adventure begins with a submarine chase in the harbor as Joachim is becoming more obsessed with the arrowhead and the “tree”. With some fancy moves with is old reliable boat “La Quila”, Wolff leads them to an escape, while eliminating the fleet of the overbearing harbor master Nilo Nemolato (Paul Giamatti – with a terrible sunburn).

Lily possesses an old river map drawn by a talented cartographer which she instructs Wolff to follow. He is unimpressed with the incredibly detailed document, insisting that he knows the water better. He eventually acquiesces to her plans, which leads them through a variety of issues (some not as genuine as others). After being captured by a group of cannibals (actually a group that works with Wolff),  Trader Sam (Veronica Falcon) translates the arrowhead for Lily. She tells the group where the tree resides, but they only have two days until the “Blood Moon” that will show the leaves that are so important.

Wolff is not what he seems and Lily becomes more and more reluctant to trust him. When Joachim unleashes the cursed conquistadors (who take the form of trees, bees, and the incredibly creepy snakes) and time running out, can Lily allow herself to trust the “skipper” to get them to where they need to go without becoming another footnote to the legend?    

To begin, the film is downright, fun. The acting is superb. Blunt is truly wonderful, and in spite of trekking through in the jungle for days, is radiant with her classic beauty and blonde hair. One of the most versatile actors in today’s cinema who can play almost anything, she carries the film with charm and charisma. Yes, I was smitten with her (as well as the rest of the male audience) but she is equally smart and resourceful. A great character for young women to emulate.

Plemons, is also excellent. He is over-the-top, but that is the character and he makes for an interesting contrast to the others on screen. Whitehall is funny, his desire for fashion and skin regiment makes for great comedic moments. Falcon also adds a level of humor and exposition that makes her character essential to the plot.

Dwayne Johnson is magnificent too. He has really developed into a fine leading man, who like Blunt, carries the other side of the film wonderfully. The delivery of the puns was music to my ears (maybe someday I will retire and become a “skipper” down at Disney World) yet the action sequences are exciting and thrilling.

Much like the “Pirates” series, “Jungle Cruise” builds off the ride with a realistic fantasy (if that is even possible) and it will engage you for the entire 127 minutes. The PG-13 rating is fair, but the “creepy-crawlies” might get some of the more squeamish viewers (Aguirre is made up of snakes). The innuendos are extremely intelligent and honestly very funny, despite being a Disney film. There is a 3D version out in theaters, and there are quite a few moments that make it worth the extra cost to see it that way (but also more icky).

It is a great cruise – and I’m not lion (it is a jaguar).